Happy, I am happy as far as happy goes

but in a moment I feel…confusion, agitation, anxiety

Numbness approaches, stop breathing

The wave rushes through my body so quickly

As I fall to my knees

And cry like I have never cried before

Howling, grieving

For nobody cries like this unless they are grieving

Grieving for their soul, their life, their love, their sanity.

Shouting out to whoever is to blame

Only the person who is to blame can heal you

And you grieve for your dependence on them

They hurt you before, they chose to hurt you

Now you’re asked to trust in them to heal you?

Can’t there be another way?

There must be another way or I may die.

You cry to block the breathtaking agony

Rocking, momentum to shake the demons loose

So they can’t grab hold of your soul

Rocking, crying, reduced to a ball

Demons in your lungs, your eyes, your stomach

Cry. Why? I don’t understand!

How could you do this to me?

You can’t do this to me!

No, no, no!

Crying, hurting, withering, dying. Agony.

After a while, you realize the crying must stop

The demons have been chased off for now

You must stop and pick up the pieces again

And try to make yourself more resistant

Prepare for the demons to return again soon.