Dirt
By: crimson.bead
I want to soak in an acid bath
Burn their fingerprints off my skin
Burn them from my memory
Rubbing their scent on me
They made me their property.
My skin is gone
but I am still dirty
I am still unworthy
I want to reach in with my hand
Pull my uterus out
Disinfect it
Incinerate it so it cannot be used
So I cannot do the same to mine
Fill the cavity with candles and flowers
Fill it with things of beauty
I redecorate my insides
but I am still dirty
I am still unworthy
I want to slice off my breasts
So I don't look like my mother
So I don't stand out
Nothing to see
Nothing to touch
Nothing to remind me
My milk is rancid
My breasts are gone
but I am still dirty
I am still unworthy
I want to pull my eyes out
So I can be blind and ignore my hurt
So I don't have to look at the creeps in this world
So I don't see them stare
as they hunt me down like prey
So I don't feel like I am a circus freak
So I can be me...be free
My eyes are gone
but I am still dirty
I am still unworthy
It seems it doesn't matter what I do
No part has remained untouched
I am branded
The scent of too many extrudes from my pores
And she...
She will always be in each cell
She will always be here
Always be me
I am gone
but somehow still dirty
Always unworthy.