my external memory of what came before you

is only a paradox to what i was thinking this time

i know it can be hard to understand me

but i'm trying to say it without commiting a crime

so when it goes i just let it go

floating face down in the puddle of my history

just dreaming my little dreams

and screaming at the mistory

we're all looking for something we can believe in

a heartfelt "yes" or a dream that bleeds through

a reality without the pain of justified sin

or another person who will see the truth in you

several times today i wondered if it was worth it

my nerveless fingers fold together in lies

finding strength in whatever it is another can give

wondering if the love i saw was really in your eyes