Punshine
By: Fox
It’s not an easy torture, some say it’s worse than death. Disobeying The Big Brush (the
writers god) results in the inhumane torment of the mind, body, and soul. Innocents do
not cross the paths of this cruel and unsual chastisement.
It starts with a simple knock of disobedience, that or very, very bad puns. You are
taken before The Big Brush and his court to decide the extent of wrongdoing. You will
then either be thrown out of the writer’s world, if you are lucky, or you will receive the
ultimate penalty, PUNSHINEMENT.
Are you laughing? You think it is a joke, don’t you? Those who think it is a joke
will suffer unbearably. If you do get punshined, you will be taken down a long dark
stairway, where it spirals, you’ll never know when you stop, just going around and around
and around...then...STOP!
You will then crash into a heavy wooden door. Your guard will ask you to open
it. But watch out, it may be hot. Stepping into the next room you will be engulfed in
flames, surrounding you, trying to eat at your flesh. By the time you get to the next room
you will be covered in ash, and hopefully, this time you will be smart enough to kick the
door in.
In this room, all you will hear is screams of those being tortured. You will
be blindfolded and walked across the room at an even pace. Slowly now, we want to
make sure you can hear all of the screams and all of death. You should be shaking by the
time you exit that room.
Taking of the blindfold you make your way up the stairs as best you can. So far,
none have made it to the top before fainting. As you wake up, do not give me that look, I
know you will not make it, you will find yourself in chains. Around you will be the other
victims, there you will hear stories of what punshining is, and what those screams were. It
is your choice to believe them.
You will watch them go, one by one ahead of you. Do you think you will see
them again? Surely the way you came was the only way out. thoughts of terror and
torture enter your mind and you quiver each time the door opens, hoping it is not your
turn.
When it is your turn the guard will unchain you and takes you behind the door. It
is a round room, no door. Where do they keep the bodies, you ask yourself, although you
will soon find out. There are many instruments of torture by you a gavial, stretching
machine, a feather? The guard leaves you alone and you are left alone in the dark.
One by one torches are lit around the room, one right after another. By this time
you are sweating and your mind is scrambling to get away. The walls turn and cloaked
figures are surrounding you. They each stand around you, one moves their and slightly
and you close your eyes, expecting the worst.
They open their mouths, and begin the torture, pun after pun they come, deadly
puns. Such as “Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections? “ or “If someone with
multiple personalities threatens suicide... is it considered a hostage situation?†You will
then be released through the back door, where the are handed a pair of sun glasses.
They will say to you. “ You have just been punshined, you may or may not use the
sunglasses, but looking directly at yourself will cause eye damage or blindness. Please
stay indoors for a few weeks to let the shine wear down.†For you have just been punned,
until you shined.